Tuesday, 7 May 2013

Birth

When I was born my father thought that my mother had died. But the doctor said he put the sheet over her head to keep her from seeing me.

I realized I was in a racist area of deep south when I went to buy sheets and the guy asked my what size I wore.

When I was a baby I used to spit up all the time. My parents were happy. They had something my grandfather could eat without chewing.
Posted by at

15 comments:

  1. Poke The Rock7 May 2013 at 02:01

    the second one took me a nano second and then I got it...hehe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. John DeBellis7 May 2013 at 08:21

      Somedays the jokes are obvious, somedays they are not, and somedays they're not funny. Who knows?

      Delete
  2. Pat Hatt7 May 2013 at 02:21

    LOL was the sheet thick enough that it wasn't see through?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. John DeBellis7 May 2013 at 08:22

      I didn't think of that. Not even once. Your imagination is better than mine.

      Delete
  3. Holy Ghost Writer7 May 2013 at 03:08

    Now that is what I call recycling

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. John DeBellis7 May 2013 at 08:23

      I guess that's what you would call it. Disgusting recycling.

      Delete
  4. Brian Miller7 May 2013 at 03:34

    ha, what size you wore...we must not live too far apart from each other then....that last one gave me the shivers too...smiles.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. John DeBellis7 May 2013 at 08:25

      It's kind of gross, but I like the sick ones the best. I always did for some reason. I live right outside NYC. You? I saw the Rascals, the other night on Broadway, there were old but great.

      Delete
  5. Just Keepin It Real, Folks!7 May 2013 at 03:51

    I suppose the higher ranked officials in that organization get the higher thread count sheets.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. John DeBellis7 May 2013 at 08:26

      That's funny. And it's something I should have considered or figured out what to do with. I know now they were skinny jeans with form fitted sheets.

      Delete
  6. Adam7 May 2013 at 08:19

    must be close to where I live. I hate the bible belt.

    ReplyDelete
  7. John DeBellis7 May 2013 at 08:26

    Where do you live? I'm a NYC boy, although I live in New Jersey 5 minute from the city.

    ReplyDelete
  8. The Angry Lurker7 May 2013 at 10:18

    That birth one sounds familiar?

    ReplyDelete
  9. John DeBellis7 May 2013 at 11:53

    I wrote it awhile ago. Some one might have retweeted it, when I first wrote it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Eat To Live7 May 2013 at 13:18

    Blah!! To the last one. The second one is really funny.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)