Monday, 17 June 2013

Morning

I don't need a reason to get up in the morning. I need one to stop me from going back to sleep.

I killed a woman today by accident. I thought she was choking & I panicked. You shouldn't give the Heimlich maneuver to a sword swallower.

I was in love with a blind woman with no fingers because my penis was the only thing she could count on.
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22 comments:

  1. Holy Ghost Writer17 June 2013 at 03:13

    Blind love, wonderfully erotic

    ReplyDelete
  2. Eat To Live17 June 2013 at 03:42

    Your body must be getting enough magnesium if you can go back to sleep after waking up.... Get yourself a woman and she will give you plenty of reasons to get up in the morning.... Reasons like... Take the trash out, clean the garage, yada, yada, yada.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown17 June 2013 at 18:13

      It'a great way to look at it. I can use that for excuse why I'm not in a relationship.

      Delete
  3. Just Keepin It Real, Folks!17 June 2013 at 04:47

    Live by the sword, die by the sword.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown17 June 2013 at 18:12

      Live by the sword swallower die by the sword swallower, if that makes any sense.

      Delete
  4. Brian Miller17 June 2013 at 05:33

    ha. me too. i am so lazy today....usually i am up and out but today i am a slug and the saltshaker is coming...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown17 June 2013 at 18:14

      I hate getting up before the sun goes down. Actually, like the morning but I like late at night better. It's relaxing for me.

      Delete
  5. Pat Hatt17 June 2013 at 05:52

    Hope she had the magic touch.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Grace17 June 2013 at 06:36

    I wish I can stay in bed today but off to work I go ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown17 June 2013 at 18:16

      I actually don't go back to sleep but if I didn't put that it there it wouldn't have humorous. It may not be now.

      Delete
  7. A Beer for the Shower17 June 2013 at 07:08

    You also shouldn't try to give the Heimlich maneuver at an orgy. Sometimes - just sometimes - the choking is intentional.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown17 June 2013 at 18:16

      I've been to an orgy but if I get the opportunity I'll check it out.

      Delete
  8. Al Penwasser17 June 2013 at 12:40

    Does that blind woman do long division?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown17 June 2013 at 18:17

      No but in my case I'm glad she knew fractions.

      Delete
  9. Adam17 June 2013 at 14:01

    I remember seeing a sword swallowing act when I was little, then the carnie told me and my brothers we were too young.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown17 June 2013 at 18:18

      I'm not sure what you meant exactly, although one possibility, regretfully comes to mind.

      Delete
  10. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com17 June 2013 at 15:20

    I just tried picturing you helping your blind (ex)girlfriend do her taxes. It was a bit awkward.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown17 June 2013 at 18:19

      It's not something I want to think about, taxes that is. She'd do a better job than me.

      Delete
  11. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com17 June 2013 at 15:20

    PS But you got a big return.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown17 June 2013 at 18:20

      I may have but she didn't, I'm sorry to say.

      Delete

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