I don't need a reason to get up in the morning. I need one to stop me from going back to sleep.
I killed a woman today by accident. I thought she was choking & I panicked. You shouldn't give the Heimlich maneuver to a sword swallower.
I was in love with a blind woman with no fingers because my penis was the only thing she could count on.
Blind love, wonderfully erotic
ReplyDeleteLove at first...
DeleteYour body must be getting enough magnesium if you can go back to sleep after waking up.... Get yourself a woman and she will give you plenty of reasons to get up in the morning.... Reasons like... Take the trash out, clean the garage, yada, yada, yada.
ReplyDeleteIt'a great way to look at it. I can use that for excuse why I'm not in a relationship.
DeleteLive by the sword, die by the sword.
ReplyDeleteLive by the sword swallower die by the sword swallower, if that makes any sense.
Deleteha. me too. i am so lazy today....usually i am up and out but today i am a slug and the saltshaker is coming...
ReplyDeleteI hate getting up before the sun goes down. Actually, like the morning but I like late at night better. It's relaxing for me.
DeleteHope she had the magic touch.
ReplyDeleteShe wasn't all thumbs.
DeleteI wish I can stay in bed today but off to work I go ~
ReplyDeleteI actually don't go back to sleep but if I didn't put that it there it wouldn't have humorous. It may not be now.
DeleteYou also shouldn't try to give the Heimlich maneuver at an orgy. Sometimes - just sometimes - the choking is intentional.
ReplyDeleteI've been to an orgy but if I get the opportunity I'll check it out.
DeleteDoes that blind woman do long division?
ReplyDeleteNo but in my case I'm glad she knew fractions.
DeleteI remember seeing a sword swallowing act when I was little, then the carnie told me and my brothers we were too young.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what you meant exactly, although one possibility, regretfully comes to mind.
DeleteI just tried picturing you helping your blind (ex)girlfriend do her taxes. It was a bit awkward.
ReplyDeletexoRobyn
It's not something I want to think about, taxes that is. She'd do a better job than me.
DeletePS But you got a big return.
ReplyDeleteI may have but she didn't, I'm sorry to say.
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