Tuesday 4 June 2013

Bed

Forget orgasms. I'm at the age now I'll settle for getting a woman to wet her bed.

I'm not well endowed because of a slight era by my parents who mixed up the words circumcised and castrated.

I'm at the age where I spend my nights worrying about not waking up and I spend my days worrying about not falling asleep.

26 comments:

  1. #3 Take some magnesium, it really helps with the sleep.

    #2 So do they call you Stubby???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most of this stuff is just jokes but I do have trouble sleeping. I always had. I'll try the magnesium.

      Delete
  2. #1 preferable not during the act...
    #2 youch, now that is a paperwork error

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Small penis jokes tend to get big laughs. I do have one large penis joke in my act. When we had sex my girlfriend wouldn't go on top because she was afraid of heights. I actually should tweet that. It seems tweetable.

      Delete
  3. Does the worry cancel each other out

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Worry always takes a priority in my life, no matter what ever else is going on.

      Delete
  4. lol, things are getting pretty bad when #1 turns out to be true.

    Of course that doesn't matter at all if #2 comes into play (or doesn't), haha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I never though about the combination but you're right. it's not true, you'll just have to take my word for it.

      Delete
  5. Don't worry about #2. It's all in the technique anyway!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What if your technique is bad? What then? At this point in my life as long as any part of me wakes up in the morning i'm happy.

      Delete
  6. I hear they make prosthetic ones to help with #2 haha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not saying that I'm really well endowed, but I am waiting for them to make one that has vacuum attachment.

      Delete
  7. #2 Well at least you don't have to worry about meeting up with a Lorena Babitz.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I met her. At least that's what I tell myself.

      Delete
  8. ouch to # 2 ~ that is quite a mixed up John ~ Smiles ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, my folks didn't pay attention to little details like that.

      Delete
  9. hahahahahaha

    part 3, I am already that age, or it is a early life crisis!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That can happen at any age, as long as you have the aptitude, and like wallowing.

      Delete
  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. good thing my parents didn't get the mix up. I'd rather have lost the foreskin.

      Delete
    2. I always say never ever higher an overly ambitious moil.

      Delete
  11. These are good, got me chuckling.
    I'm almost with you on the third one.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank You. They're fun writing. On the third one I'm not there yet, but I can see (if I have my glasses on) the handwriting on the wall.

      Delete
  12. First smile of the day especially the second one, I has flashbacks!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Flashbacks? I hope you're kidding.

    Hey, we all need to smile while we still have our teeth.

    John

    ReplyDelete