Friday 19 April 2013

Church

If church was really the house of God, you'd think He'd have more comfortable seating.

God definitely is a women which explains why Jesus died wearing clean underwear.

The other night I was bitten by a red neck vampire... He left two gum marks.

16 comments:

  1. Redneck vampires would bite you in the ass. I would know 'cause I fancy myself quite a redneck.

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    1. What makes you consider yourself a redneck? What are the requirements?

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  2. Oh my gosh that dang red neck tried to gum you to death!!

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    1. He was scary, jumping out of water as black catfish, then coming to full height wearing a black coonskin hat, chewing on black tobacco that had a tint of red in it.

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  3. Gummed in the bum, weird and then some. And yeah you'd think the seats would have cushions at least.

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    1. I always hated those seats, almost as much as I hated to church.

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  4. God has so many houses, I guess he does real estate on the side.

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    1. Yes, and he has the same person furnishing them. The guys should be fired, we could have at least had cushions.

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  5. I like the Red Neck one because I am one. I'm a little slow this morning. But Terry, you got it right away, girl.
    Good one Adam.
    '

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    1. I'll ask you also, why do you consider yourself a redneck? Is there a certain threshold?

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  6. It's true, those pews are incredibly uncomfortable. At least we Jews have cushioned seats (usually), and can easily fade into an REM sleep during the sermon.

    xoRobyn

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    1. CUSHIONS!!!!! That's what we need. It's not so much to ask. Maybe that why I feel closer to being Jewish than Catholic.

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  7. On the bright side....if you fart in church, you sit in your own pew.

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    1. You have a very good point, although not a pleasant thought.

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  8. No wonder he is God, owns the real estate market more than trump.

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    1. Yes, and much much smarter. I wish He'd use his power and damn Trump's hair to hell.

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