Thursday, 31 October 2013


I'm looking for love in all the wrong vices.

When I started to get gray hair around the temples women didn't find it attractive. Of course the gray hair was growing out of my ears.

I'm at the age where death is the lesser of two evils.

Wednesday, 30 October 2013


We knew he was going to be a mobster, when they pulled him out of his mother's womb he was kicking her in the ribs.

You know you're getting old when the things you live for will kill you.

You know you're getting old when you get up in the middle of the night and forget to pee.

Tuesday, 29 October 2013


I look forward to the day when our differences are seen as something to grow towards instead of growing away from.

The Lord is my shepherd I shall not bend over.

The truth may set you free but it might require a good lawyer.

Monday, 28 October 2013


It used to be that carrying a condom was wishful thinking. Now at my age it's magical thinking.

Life is the most precious commodity, why else would the Republican's heath care policies want to keep it in such short supply.

Shutting the government down is like pulling the plug on someone who is brain dead.