Thursday 28 February 2013

Age

I'm at the age now where I take Viagra just so I can pee.

You know you're getting old when your goals in life are all body functions.

If I can change anything about life and death, it would be the order in which it happens.

19 comments:

  1. John, A good one, especially the 2nd one...... it's so true, it doesn't count.

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    1. Where the thoughts for the first two jokes came from were Rodney Dangerfield. He'd also tell me about how life was changing as he got older. He said the first place he'd check for when he did a new gig, was where a deli was, because he packed toaster oven in one of his suitcases. He was on special person. i really loved him. I always miss him and have remind myself that's he's dead.

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    2. As you get older your standard of living is based on your working body functions.

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  2. ooo really like that last one...and ha, when you have to plan around and record your bodily functions...um....

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    1. I'm not there yet, but I know it will eventually happen. Hopefully it'll be several years, maybe decades, if I eat right, exercise and go into suspended animation.

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  3. But if you are old you can be act out of the norm, no one will question you!

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    1. I don't consider myself old nor do those joke apply to me yet but to old friends and family members. I'm just preparing myself for the inevitable.

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  4. Number 2 is so, so true!! I can tell you one thing.... Getting old Sucks!!

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    1. I haven't gotten there yet but I'll take your word for it. But I do hope I make it there, not so soon though.

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  5. At least you can use I'm too old for this shit and it will be the truth haha

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    1. I'm too young for it. I just write it by observing friends and family, plus it's a fun issue.

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  6. I've heard it's good to play memory games as you get older, so you don't get forgetful. But every day is a memory game for me. Did I take my vitamins? Did I drink my fiber supplement? Did I pick up little Tommy from school yesterday? Also, who's Tommy?

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    1. Funny, but true. The problem with me is I've always been like that. In my book I say that my "first memory was of forgetting something."

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  7. I like #2 'cause there is no better feelin' than stayin' regular.

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    1. Years ago I wrote a joke for comedian John Mendoza. "I'm age the age now I do psychedelic mushrooms for the roughage. I sort of said it all.

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  8. its amazing how getting old sneaks up on us; one day we are young, the next day it seems we are worrying about body functions; how did it go by so fast?

    betty

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    1. Age doesn't sneak up on you too fast when you get little clues like your shower keeps getting plugged up with hair faster.

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  9. Love the last one. Thanks for the laugh.

    xoRobyn

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