I woke up this morning, saw the sun coming through my shades, and said to myself. "This is the greatest depression of my life!"
The other night I got coffee at the Bendix Diner and spilled it on my legs and got frost bite.
I’m getting so old that eternity is getting shorter.
I know the restaurant I'm in is owned by the mob, there's a sign in the
bathroom that says employees must wipe off their finger prints.