Adjustments

At my age dying is not so much an alternative as it is an adjustment.

I'd like to live forever just so I can see if a Twinkie will eventually go bad.

A very vain friend has had so many face lifts people say God bless you when he pees.

Happy 4th of July

Hope you all have a great day.

Memory

My memory is getting really bad, not only can't I remember the girl I host my virginity with, I can't recall how much I paid her.

My memory is going, the other day I had sex with a woman and I forgot to apologize.

I had a friend in LA whose bird just died. She left the window open and the bird flew out and hit its head on the air.

Feeding

There's something wrong with society when it feeds on each other rather than feed each other.

I'm a morning person. It's my favorite time to sleep.

Success is too often judged by how much we make rather than how much we give.

In Vain

I'm an atheist, & if I'm correct, my biggest regret is those that killed in the name of God will never realize that they killed in vain.

The love of money is not the root all of evil. The root of all evil is the love of people because they make money.

I don't hate the human race, I just despise what it's racing towards.