We didn’t want to search the forty or so
floors above us so Laura insisted that we take the elevator straight to the
roof where we could observe what was around the building and get a tan. The elevator only went to the floor beneath
the roof, so we cautiously climbed the stairs, and slowly opened the door in
case there were any zombies soaking up the rays. There weren’t. In fact there weren’t any rays either, the
day had long since grown into evening.
Laura realized she’d forgotten to take a nap and insisted on lying down
for twenty minutes, because she hadn’t waited for her eyes to get used to the city
being so dark she almost feel off the roof.
It’s a good thing she threw her jacket down to lie on and saw it drift
towards to ground.
It took a few minutes but our eyes finally
adjusted to the dark. A small portion of
the city was still lit, but was slowly losing electricity building by
building. Laura Lee and I, still in
zombie apocalypse denial, debated whether or not people were turning off the
lights to get a better picture on their large screen TVs, or they all bought
light bulbs that all needed to be changed at the same time. It was a fun debate. We weren’t constricted by political party
bickering over rules, or any time limits for our responses, other than the
disqualification of a debater for passing out, not caused by a stroke, heart
attack, or collapsing from low blood sugar.
In our effort to avoid the new reality, we left out “eaten by a zombie”
because that would only bring up the point of whether the zombie could continue
in the debater’s place until the debater themselves had turned zombie, which
would open up a whole other can of worms.
The debate, although heated at times kept our minds off the savagery
going on around us. The debate ended on
its own when we realized nobody could declare a winner because if that decision
were left up to us it would only start another debate.
Our spirits lifted enough to actually get our
minds working on a plan. The first stage
of our plan was simple, see if our cell phones worked and if they did, answer
any texts or emails, then call for help.
We knew we probably couldn’t get a cab to come for us, not for a while,
so I suggested ordering a pizza where it’s guaranteed to be delivered within
thirty minutes or you get your money back.
Laura wanted mushrooms and anchovies and I wanted mine plan with extra
sauce even though it would surely mean a bout of heartburn. Instead of ordering two, which might take
longer and more for the pizza boy to carry up forty-four floors (if the zombies
managed to take over the elevator), we decided we’d each order a half the way
we liked it. The first pizza place I
called there wasn’t any answer. The same
happened for the next thirty-seven places. I finally got one, but they didn’t
deliver to our building, or even our state.
I offered to pay for gas and not hold them to the half hour since they
were in Puerto Rico, which was only a territory, and would require a boat, a
plane flight or both, not to mention the possibility of driving for 1OOO
miles. So we hung up, discouraged, so
much so we started to call Chinese restaurants, this time keeping within our
own area code. No dice or should I say,
at the risk of being corny, no rice. We
figured they must be so busy no one was answering. Ok, we knew we were fooling ourselves, trying
to put a positive spin on things, but we were also letting our own hunger cloud
our judgment. We needed to find food
and another plan or a plan we could eat.
That’s when all hell broke loose.
Zombies from the Bank of Japan building next
to us, which was 15 or 16 or maybe 17 floors above us, I kept losing count-- it
was dark and all those foreign made windows look alike-- from the taller
buildings next to ours started landing on the roof. At first I thought they might be business men
who had just gotten the news about the stock market crashing, but changed my
mind when they splattered all around us and started to rise as if the stock
market has just recovered and had hit a new high. These were hungry zombies with dead man size
appetites.
The stock market and zombies. Something already relatable there
ReplyDeleteI think the stock market is a place for zombie to flourish.
DeleteWho would drive a thousand miles for a pizza? Do you prefer Chicago or New York pizza?
ReplyDeleteNew York Pizza. Thin Sliced at Patsy's on 117th and 1st avenue. I was taken there by Sid Bernstein the man who brought the Beatles to America. I spent 5 hours with him, eating pizza and listening to some amazing stories. He was one of the nicest people who'd ever want to meet and turned me on to my favorite Pizza.
DeleteThose texts must have been really important to answer
ReplyDeleteI guess they were, I think, or I don't remember. I guess that answers your question, or thought or comment. I hope.
DeleteKeeps getting more insane, love it
ReplyDeleteThank you. You don't know how much the insane comment means to me, I'm not kidding. That's what I was aiming for.
DeleteNice story
ReplyDeleteAgain, thanks.
Delete